- There is always a stereotypically drunk Scot hanging at the bar in the Hollywood movies. This isn't fair.....................there should be at least five or ten.
- It was once said that Scots would only drink Irish whiskey if they ran out of water.

- An old Scottish proverb states, 'Never drink whisky with water and never drink water without whisky'.
- In Scotland, a seven-course meal is a bottle of whisky and six cans of lager.
- You should always have a good dram of whisky with you in case of a snake bite.....and you should always have a little snake with you as well.
- "Can you tell me where the railway station is?" Scotsman (wildly gesticulating):
"Ochayenaebotherpalit'sdoontheroadandturnleftattheweehooseonthecorner."
- It's often said that bagpipes are the missing link between music and noise
- Some people say the Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scots as a joke and we've missed the gag...

Bless a' the MacKenzies an' a' the MacKenzie childer; their sons an' son's childer and their dochiter's for a thousan' years to come.
Be Ye gracious an' send doon mountains o' snuff, an rivers of whisky.
An' oh lord send doon swords an' pistels an' daggers as monie as the sands on the seashore to kill the MacDonalds, the Clan Ranalds, and the Campbells.
An oh Lord, bless the wee coo, an' make it a big coo.
An oh Lord bless the sucklin' and make it a grand boar.
An oh Lord, bless the wee bairns, yon Angus, Alex an' Bessie an' Maggie an' Florrie.
An oh Lord, build up a great wall between us an' the Irish, an' put broken bottles on the top, so they cannae come over.
An' oh lord, if ye hae anything gude to gie, dunna gie it to the Irish, but gie it to your chosen people, the Scots, especially to the Clan MacKenzie an' a' their friends.
Glorious ye are for ever more.

Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And days o’ lang syne!

Chorus:
For auld lang syne, my dear
For auld lang syne,
We’ll tak a cup o’ kindness yet
For auld lang syne!

We twa hae run about the braes,
And pu’d the gowans fine,
But we’ve wander’d mony a weary foot
Sin’ auld lang syne.

We twa hae paidl’t in the burn
Frae morning sun till dine,
But seas between us braid hae roar’d
Sin’ auld lang syne.

And there’s a hand, my trusty fiere,
And gie’s a hand o’ thine,
And we’ll tak a right guid willie-waught
For auld lang syne!

And surely ye’ll be your pint’ stoup,
And surely I’ll be mine!
And we’ll tak a cup o’ kindness yet
For auld lang syne!

10. Es gibt wunderschöne Fotos

9. Die Pipes werden alle Verwandten übertönen, die meinen:" Er ist nicht der Richtige für sie..."

8. Die Pipes werden alle Verwandten übertönen, die meinen:" Sie ist nicht die Richtige für ihn..."

7. Wie viele Auftritte kann man sonst noch in Bier und Whisky bezahlen?

6. Keinerlei Diskussion über die Musikauswahl und Stilrichtung.

5. Oma kann endlich für sich die uralte Frage aufklären........

4. Keinerlei Mikrophone oder aufwendige soundchecks notwendig.

3. Die Pipes werden auch bei lauten Streitereien der Gäste noch gehört.

2. Du kannst die Pipes für das Dröhnen in Deinem Kopf am Morgen danach verantwortlich machen......

Aber der absolute Grund Nummer 1, einen Piper zu engagieren:
DIE LEUTE WERDEN ÜBER DEINE HOCHZEIT NOCH JAHRELANG REDEN!!

A gentleman is a man who can play the bagpipes but who doesn´t......

Peter Kunz

Hauptstrasse 109, 76689 KARLSDORF-NEUTHARD

email:  peku55@web.de

Tel.: 07251 - 308 130 (evtl. AB, wir rufen zurück)